how did we get here, again?
Eh.
I don’t know how it happened but my last post was in January. It’s been kind of a weird year for me, not sure if it’s the same for others born in the Year of the Ox? Many times I’d remember the blog and want to write, but somehow it seemed really unnatural. Perhaps I’ve changed over the past year or so, which is why I stopped myself from writing here, which I associate with shiny, happy, positive thoughts. Not that I’ve been unhappy of course, it’s more like I’m in this state of development and it seems like the kind of person I am now is not the nabbycat that you might know.
Anyway, I’m back here again, which is, for all intents and purposes, good. Before anyone worries, I am still pretty much happy and shiny and positive, but I think what changed is that there’s some void within me that’s been occupying my thoughts as of late. I think it’s of no coincidence that I’ve started to explore writing more seriously. What this means, to me at least, is two things – #1, that it’s making me delve into some darker parts of myself, as you can only write what you know; and #2, that the more I start writing the more I start to ask some pretty fundamental questions like whether I like what I do, what is my purpose in life, etc. Yep, pretty heavy stuff. For a 27-year-old like myself (at least in May), this has some heavy implications, I mean, I’m not at an age where I can be foolish with my choices and the choices that I have made, I have built my life around and settled somewhat comfortably, if precariously so.
So there you have it, that was quite the no-holds-barred entry. I hope this doesn’t scare anyone away, if anything, it’d be great to hear your comments, if any. Though I did consider it, I don’t wish to stop blogging, because I do think this blog has been an important part of my life, and the readers that I have, I do hold dear and value. I can’t promise a post filled with sunshine and rainbows every week, but I will endeavour to be truthful to myself and this blog.
Thanks for reading.
p.s.: In happier news, I wrote and directed a play in mid-March, which got this rather nice review (Scroll down to “Mentah”).
Image credit: wikispaces
o brother
Hi all! As you can see, I am slowly easing myself into a more regular blogging schedule again!
Thought I’d post this photo up because it makes me laugh and is quintessentially Najib, which is my brother’s name. He likes to come into my room and ask me to take outfit photos, or sometimes he shows me his latest purchase or asks me if his shoes match his outfit. Yep, that’s my brother for you! This time he came into my room and made me clean up the sofa area so that he could take this photo, haha! But I do love him though! He recently came back from Hawaii (for a school trip) and came back with a vintage Hawaiian poster calendar for me and a keychain with “Ohana” or “family” (if you watched Lilo & Stitch, you’d know) on it for the whole family. Sweet eh? If you’re thinking “Awww, that’s sweet that you’re so close to your brother”, well you’d be right, but it wasn’t always like this. We grew up fighting a lot, and I think I even *hated* him at one point in time, but I guess as we grew older we started to band together, especially when my parents got divorced and also when we helped each other keep secrets from our parents (haha). So yes, I have a lot of love for him, although sometimes I do wonder how it’d be like if I had an older sister!
How about you guys? Are you close to your siblings, or not? Or do you have a special relationship with them? I’d love to know!
FSAMO
Hi lovely biscuits! Yesterday I got a bit of disappointing news. Some of you might know (if you follow me on Twitter, if not add me at @nabbycat) that I was involved in Short + Sweet Singapore which is a festival which presents 10-minute plays. I registered to be a director, picked my script, conducted auditions for actors, picked the cast for my piece, had rehearsals, was planning my lighting and set design and so forth, and all these within the span of a couple of weeks. Though there was really a time crunch and it was quite stressful, I was actually really looking forward to seeing the result of my rehearsals with my cast. The performance was scheduled for next week, that is, until the organisers decided to cancel the entire show. And this, one week before opening night.
Well, let’s just say I was shell-shocked. Especially when you are told that the reason behind the sudden cancellation is “due to unforeseen circumstances”. Shock soon turned into anger, then disappointment and now, resignation. The good news is that there is a chance that all the work my actors and I put in might not be in vain, there might be an alternative platform to showcase our work sometime next year, so all is not lost. Also I have decided to think positive and take stock of all the things I learnt from the experience – being in charge of how rehearsals go, sharing my vision with my actors and having them trust me, these were things completely new to me and quite amazing experiences in and of themselves.
Sorry for that long story but thought I’d document my thoughts during this whole period. Anyway, I decided to turn to my blog to cheer myself up since I haven’t really done that in a while. It’s kind of like blog therapy in a way. Looking for nice images and reading blogs can be a really good source of comfort – it’s like you can curate your own source of happiness. Here are some visuals that caught my fancy, enjoy! It’s really a hodgepodge of images but I guess that’s probably just my state of mind tonight.
Thanks for listening (reading) guys!
rambler gambler
Went to see the Dali exhibition at the ArtScience Museum about two weeks ago and had a pretty enjoyable time. I’m beginning to appreciate the whole Marina Bay Sands shebang a little bit more these few days, though I’m not sure at what point nonchalance turned into appreciation for the whole MBS machinery. And I mean machinery in a good way. Like you definitely need really solid systems in place for the entire place to run smoothly. I bet they could film a TV series set in the area like Las Vegas does. Especially with the Gardens by the Bay developing there. Me and erfen popped by over the weekend and we were rather awestruck. Words like “Jurassic Park” and “Avatar” and “otherwordly” were being bandied around, and not said ironically, but really meant. Worth a look! What do you think about MBS? Love it, hate it, don’t care? I definitely would love to be able to stay for a night at the hotel and have a dip in the famed infinity pool. Just one of those things, I guess.
big wiener
Hello biskutians! (haha)
Pardon my infrequent posts as I find myself feeling rather unmotivated to trawl the interwebs lately, due to work-related fatigue. Oh to be a Singaporean cubicle-warrior!
Of course one could call it laziness. I won’t lie, sometimes at the end of the day I find myself just inexplicably drawn to my bed, unwilling to turn on the laptop and stare at what is invariably another version of the computer screen (read=work).
I find that I’ve taken less photos recently too, which is rather sad, because sometimes stills of my life, while seemingly fresh at the time of action, fade fast from my memory without any photographic evidence. The tablecloth in that delightful cafe where you had a sprawling lunch, becomes just a plain red instead of a rich vermillion, for example.
I’ve got to start taking photos again.
Anyways, I’ve veered from the point, which is to announce that recently I got a bit of good news. Some of you might know that I participated in the So You Think You Can Blog challenge organised by the People’s Association a few months back.
Well, I’m happy to say that I won! And I won an iPad 2 no less! 
Thank you to everyone who supported me, it really came as a surprise and no, I’m not just saying that ala winner’s of all past, present and future Ms Universes! Hehe.
Tangs everybody tangs!
Congrats to the other winners, sherms (represented by her mom!) and William. Yes, that’s Mr Yam Ah Mee!
Ya’ll know I just had to! Mr Yam was so super nice! While posing for photos, he will talk to you and engage in conversation hehe!
All photos taken by erfen! (except this one of course, hehe)
PA was celebrating because they now have 1 million members! Of which I am one now. Discounts at Cold Storage woohoo!
Soo many people were out and about on that rather hot day. So much love for PA.
Yep, plenty of love going round! 
Thanks to PA for choosing me as well. I am not worthy! Do check out OurCommunity.sg for news on the courses and workshops available at your nearest CC today!
Oh yes, and as you can see, the undercut is back! Not sure about the length so I might just have another haircut sometime soon.
Selamat Hari Raya Haji to all my Muslim readers! I had a rather good one with way too much good food as usual. My family goes visiting on Hari Raya Haji so it’s pretty much the same as Hari Raya Aidilfitri, but I know many others who stay home and chill as well.
Well, no matter how you spent the day, I hope it was a good one! We all have Monday off anyway so let’s make the best of it! Toffee nut latte anyone? (Yes, I am obsessed again!)
Have a great week!
island in the sun
Happy Deepavali everyone! Am posting these pictures taken in Bali back in May, yeah how did six months pass by so fast?? I have no idea and now suddenly I am reminded of how old I am. Hur to the hur!
Bali was so amazing but it was way. too. short. Need to go back soon and explore Ubud next, which we didn’t have time for the last time. It was a great getaway nonetheless – we played frisbee by the beach at sunset, sat by the roadside listening to the most amazing live music (paying cover is so 2008, people!) and became a little bit obsessed with Caprisone. Isn’t it funny how they are some things which you kind of obsess over only on holidays but don’t pay much attention to when you’re back home?
How are you spending the public holiday? I’m finding myself watching Sex and the City re-runs on HBO On Demand which I recently realised that we have and eating some pb&j sandwiches. Yesterday night was spent cycling to Marina Bay Sands, we took the scenic route and I was struck (not for the first time) by how beautiful Singapore can be.
Hope you have a great day!
that you could have this, one day.
Hi dears! I did this exercise for my friend where I had look for ten photos which represented success to me. It was a really interesting exercise and made for some good soul-searching as well. These were some of the photos that I picked.
You should try it as well!
Image credits: weheartit, Max Wenger, Gary Pepper Vintage
bright lights
Sorry for the longer-than-intended hiatus, but was in a funk for awhile and never got around to blogging, though I really wanted to!
I have missed this place a lot! Here’s to blogging more regularly!
Now, I know Hari Raya has come and gone, but thought I’d share with you photos I took on the first day of Raya. Looking back on them now, the photos make me smile and just feel really happy inside! Hope you like them too dearies!
The obligatory family shot. I love how vibrant the colours look!
I love how there are two very distinct conversations happening in this picture.
One month of fasting turns you into a kuih monster!
Candid shot.
My beautiful mom! Wish I can age looking just like her!
Behind the scenes of the mass apologising session.
My dad hehe. Gotta love a family that makes teh/kopi pit stops!
One is my purse, the one is my dad’s man purse, heheheh!
So incongruous. Love it!
Mutual grooming!
Love the colours against the backdrop of green.
Last but not least, this neon sign was actually inside someone’s house!
It’s great to be blogging again! Hello again guys and hope you didn’t forget about me!
one year on
So this is how it ends.
Mereka it’s been a pleasure to have been part of you, and like they say this is not the end of the road for us. Some of us may embark on new journeys after this, in fact, all of us will, but we do so knowing that we have been part of something bigger. Something that was so intrinsically part of us that we did not realise it.
I did not realise it till I departed the gates of the abandoned building that I still do not know the name of. A space that seemed so daunting at first, but soon became so familiar that I left it in tears. A space that, when filled with the sounds of Irfan playing the takbir on the flute, made it feel so sadly beautiful and so appropriate given that it was Mereka’s last official day being together.
Is it silly of me to say that I don’t know how to let go? Perhaps I am inexperienced in such matters. But I’d like to think that this one year has been special for all of us. There have been so many moments..happy ones, funny ones, frustrating ones, proud ones…so many others you can’t place an emotion on. Let’s hold on to them while we are out there doing great things. Because we will be out there doing great things.
Lastly, I thank each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you Tini, Asyikin, Izzaty, Mo, Hammy, Nabila T, Hafiz, Li, Ruzaini, Khalid, Ezzat, Hazwan, Bib. For all the words of encouragement, for the support, the hugs, the inside jokes, the teasing, the food, the laughter, the strength, the moments of learning. I will not forget.
A special thank you goes to the amazing Irfan who puts in so much work for us that we sometimes do not recognise. Who puts in so much of himself into us that I know part of his heart belongs to Mereka. Who lets emotions get the better of him when it comes to us simply because we reside in that part of him where emotion sits in its purest form. You have been such an integral part of this experience, so if you look back with any feelings of regret, don’t. You deserve all the credit that can be given. Thank you for leading us in this journey, and for letting us lead you as well.
Like most things, gratitude is usually only recognised at the end of things, when they are almost too late, but credit must always go where credit is due. And I have you guys to credit for what has been an amazing year for me. I almost did not make it through that door to audition for Mereka so this has been almost like a dream for me. In a Sliding Doors-type of world, I wonder how my life would be like without Mereka and I struggle to even begin to imagine… Yet now I must.
Sorry for this emo note but my heart feels so heavy that I simply had to. And I know you guys understand.
Tok: “Hati kau rasa apa?”
Doktor: “Rasa sayang.”
Tok: “Sayang…”
-nabbycat
