August | 2011 | chai&biskut

Archive for August 2011

one year on

So this is how it ends.

Mereka it’s been a pleasure to have been part of you, and like they say this is not the end of the road for us. Some of us may embark on new journeys after this, in fact, all of us will, but we do so knowing that we have been part of something bigger. Something that was so intrinsically part of us that we did not realise it.

I did not realise it till I departed the gates of the abandoned building that I still do not know the name of. A space that seemed so daunting at first, but soon became so familiar that I left it in tears. A space that, when filled with the sounds of Irfan playing the takbir on the flute, made it feel so sadly beautiful and so appropriate given that it was Mereka’s last official day being together.

Is it silly of me to say that I don’t know how to let go? Perhaps I am inexperienced in such matters. But I’d like to think that this one year has been special for all of us. There have been so many moments..happy ones, funny ones, frustrating ones, proud ones…so many others you can’t place an emotion on. Let’s hold on to them while we are out there doing great things. Because we will be out there doing great things.

Lastly, I thank each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you Tini, Asyikin, Izzaty, Mo, Hammy, Nabila T, Hafiz, Li, Ruzaini, Khalid, Ezzat, Hazwan, Bib. For all the words of encouragement, for the support, the hugs, the inside jokes, the teasing, the food, the laughter, the strength, the moments of learning. I will not forget.

A special thank you goes to the amazing Irfan who puts in so much work for us that we sometimes do not recognise. Who puts in so much of himself into us that I know part of his heart belongs to Mereka. Who lets emotions get the better of him when it comes to us simply because we reside in that part of him where emotion sits in its purest form. You have been such an integral part of this experience, so if you look back with any feelings of regret, don’t. You deserve all the credit that can be given. Thank you for leading us in this journey, and for letting us lead you as well.

Like most things, gratitude is usually only recognised at the end of things, when they are almost too late, but credit must always go where credit is due. And I have you guys to credit for what has been an amazing year for me. I almost did not make it through that door to audition for Mereka so this has been almost like a dream for me. In a Sliding Doors-type of world, I wonder how my life would be like without Mereka and I struggle to even begin to imagine… Yet now I must.