how did we get here, again?

Eh.

I don’t know how it happened but my last post was in January. It’s been kind of a weird year for me, not sure if it’s the same for others born in the Year of the Ox? Many times I’d remember the blog and want to write, but somehow it seemed really unnatural. Perhaps I’ve changed over the past year or so, which is why I stopped myself from writing here, which I associate with shiny, happy, positive thoughts. Not that I’ve been unhappy of course, it’s more like I’m in this state of development and it seems like the kind of person I am now is not the nabbycat that you might know.

Anyway, I’m back here again, which is, for all intents and purposes, good. Before anyone worries, I am still pretty much happy and shiny and positive, but I think what changed is that there’s some void within me that’s been occupying my thoughts as of late. I think it’s of no coincidence that I’ve started to explore writing more seriously. What this means, to me at least, is two things – #1, that it’s making me delve into some darker parts of myself, as you can only write what you know; and #2, that the more I start writing the more I start to ask some pretty fundamental questions like whether I like what I do, what is my purpose in life, etc. Yep, pretty heavy stuff. For a 27-year-old like myself (at least in May), this has some heavy implications, I mean, I’m not at an age where I can be foolish with my choices and the choices that I have made, I have built my life around and settled somewhat comfortably, if precariously so.

So there you have it, that was quite the no-holds-barred entry. I hope this doesn’t scare anyone away, if anything, it’d be great to hear your comments, if any. Though I did consider it, I don’t wish to stop blogging, because I do think this blog has been an important part of my life, and the readers that I have, I do hold dear and value. I can’t promise a post filled with sunshine and rainbows every week, but I will endeavour to be truthful to myself and this blog.

Thanks for reading.

 

p.s.: In happier news, I wrote and directed a play in mid-March, which got this rather nice review (Scroll down to “Mentah”).

 

Image credit: wikispaces

one year on

So this is how it ends.

Mereka it’s been a pleasure to have been part of you, and like they say this is not the end of the road for us. Some of us may embark on new journeys after this, in fact, all of us will, but we do so knowing that we have been part of something bigger. Something that was so intrinsically part of us that we did not realise it.

I did not realise it till I departed the gates of the abandoned building that I still do not know the name of. A space that seemed so daunting at first, but soon became so familiar that I left it in tears. A space that, when filled with the sounds of Irfan playing the takbir on the flute, made it feel so sadly beautiful and so appropriate given that it was Mereka’s last official day being together.

Is it silly of me to say that I don’t know how to let go? Perhaps I am inexperienced in such matters. But I’d like to think that this one year has been special for all of us. There have been so many moments..happy ones, funny ones, frustrating ones, proud ones…so many others you can’t place an emotion on. Let’s hold on to them while we are out there doing great things. Because we will be out there doing great things.

Lastly, I thank each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you Tini, Asyikin, Izzaty, Mo, Hammy, Nabila T, Hafiz, Li, Ruzaini, Khalid, Ezzat, Hazwan, Bib. For all the words of encouragement, for the support, the hugs, the inside jokes, the teasing, the food, the laughter, the strength, the moments of learning. I will not forget.

A special thank you goes to the amazing Irfan who puts in so much work for us that we sometimes do not recognise. Who puts in so much of himself into us that I know part of his heart belongs to Mereka. Who lets emotions get the better of him when it comes to us simply because we reside in that part of him where emotion sits in its purest form. You have been such an integral part of this experience, so if you look back with any feelings of regret, don’t. You deserve all the credit that can be given. Thank you for leading us in this journey, and for letting us lead you as well.

Like most things, gratitude is usually only recognised at the end of things, when they are almost too late, but credit must always go where credit is due. And I have you guys to credit for what has been an amazing year for me. I almost did not make it through that door to audition for Mereka so this has been almost like a dream for me. In a Sliding Doors-type of world, I wonder how my life would be like without Mereka and I struggle to even begin to imagine… Yet now I must.

Sorry for this emo note but my heart feels so heavy that I simply had to. And I know you guys understand.

Tok: “Hati kau rasa apa?”

Doktor: “Rasa sayang.”

Tok: “Sayang…”

-nabbycat

touristy – part 1

Hello lovelies! Two Saturdays ago I inadvertently did two rather tourist things – I went for a really cool tour of our nation’s monuments (part of work) and then visited the zoo for my friend Christine’s birthday picnic and party!

Woke up bright and early at 8am and found myself greeted by these babies, that’s right, it was a tour on skate or kick scooters! It was organised by the Singapore Heritage Society and the National Heritage Board, where I work. And by the way, the Cenotaph above is a national monument, part of the Esplanade Park Memorials which also comprises of the Lim Bo Seng Memorial and Tan Kim Seng Fountain. If you don’t know what these are, you should check them out the next time you’re at Esplanade Park!

Tested out the kick scooter, and I had to practise getting used to balancing on the scooter with my bag and my camera (psst I have a new camera, a Canon PowerShot G12!). Also, did you know that the Padang, located behind me, was where the victory parade was held when the Japanese surrendered to the British marking the end of World War II in Singapore?

Tony the tour guide teaching us how to use the kick scooter and giving us the safety briefing. You can see the youngest and oldest participants in this photo (the boy in orange and the elderly man in an orange cap), which shows how universal the tour is.

Scooting past the Former Supreme Court, which will soon be part of the National Art Gallery (exciting!), along with City Hall.

The Lady Justice balancing her scales.  Interestingly, Justice is depicted without blindfolds, unlike usual depictions which have her eyes concealed.

The murals at the top of this photo show scenes of the signing of the historic treaty between Raffles and Sultan Hussein, which established Singapore as a trading post in 1819. Funny how I never thought to look closer at this building!

The Singapore Cricket Club, which is not a monument but is interesting because its members apparently used to be a lot more “selective” with who could enter the premises.

Poor cattle and horses who could not use this bridge! Cavenagh Bridge is the oldest bridge across the Singapore River and the first steel suspension bridge in Singapore. It was originally supposed to be like a drawbridge which could be raised during high tide but this was actually technically impossible and so it became a fixed suspension bridge.

Can you imagine that there used to be hundreds of bumboats in the Singapore River? The shophouses on the right of the picture were of different heights and colours to make each shophouse distinct for the boatmen, to make it easier for them to recognise which shophouse they were headed to.

The lovely Fullerton Hotel, which used to be the General Post Office Building and also once housed IRAS, is not a national monument but has been gazetted for conservation by URA.

That was the last of the photos in my camera before it died unfortunately but that was just about half of the monuments we went past during the kick scooter tour. Needless to say, it was a super fun way of learning more about Singapore! Also, did you know that we have 64 national monuments in Singapore? The latest one is the Tanjong Pagar Railway Station, which of course just stopped operating last week. Here’s hoping that the authorities will listen to calls to have a Green Corridor along the railway tracks!

Zoo pictures will come in the next post because writing this made me tired! Have a great week all!

hotel motel tanjong pagar

I don’t know if I’m alone in this, but I never knew that there was a hotel in Tanjong Pagar Railway Station, or KTM as it is more popular known.

Most people would be familiar with this part of the station, or the food stalls at the back (which incidentally, sells the most awesome goreng pisang…mmm goreng pisang…). But ever notice the 2nd and 3rd floors?

I had the privilege of exploring the old hotel on the 2nd floor. Two things come to mind when you step into the hotel vicinity.

Thought #1: Whoa… this is kinda cool!

Thought #2: Er… it’s also a bit creepy.

It basically feels as if one day they decided not to use the hotel anymore, just like that. Although I am very sure that this is not the case.

Apparently someone did take their own life in one of the rooms though….

On to nicer things! This where the trains come in and leave, and where you can sit and enjoy a nice cup of teh.

VIP rooms are larger and sport this kind of semicircle window and doorway.

One of the KTM Station Masters.

All in all, the experience was really interesting, a bit like seeing Miss Havisham, still in her wedding dress, now old and tattered, clocks stopped at a particular moment in time. But I think that’s the beauty of KTM, no? It just feels like stepping into a time warp, where everyone just takes their time.

Some other photos of good ol’ KTM:

Hope you enjoyed the virtual tour! Sorry for the blurry photos, these were taken with my iPhone 3GS because silly me did not bring a camera. Have a kickass week all!

of a feathery persuasion

Sharing a video that my theatre group, Mereka, made for an upcoming performance. If anything, watch for the song! (:

the art of the matter

Went to Art Stage on Saturday and was really blown away by the artwork.

I never used to like contemporary art because I thought it was never beautiful in the way that classic art is (is it even called classic art?),  but I think it’s slowly growing on me. Most of all because contemporary art is very relevant to the issues we face today and makes you think about things…about equality and democracy and repression and free speech and femininity and sexuality and objectivity – heavy stuff, very in your face at times, but so interesting! Ah, don’t know if that made sense, I’m no academic, maybe I should take a class and learn more about this.

Alas, we tried to find the naked man but was told that he was no longer showing…geddit geddit showing? Heheh.

Beautiful bottles, there were whole walls of them.

Psychedelic! Wish I could have a floor like this.

Light effects.

Limbering grace?

Why, I’m contemplating a cactus, of course.

Presenting….Ah Ma!

Metal mechanical movement.

What do you mean we have unibrows?

The Catman

No, I don’t need help.

Eileen Chang, wish I knew you.

Showing some Asian hospitality.

On another note, I blogged about the Pompeii exhibition on yesterday.sg, do give my first post a read if you could! Admission is free from now till it ends on Jan 23rd from Friday to Sunday, so go go go if you haven’t! And since, we’re at it, I guess this would be a perfect time to let you know officially that I’m working at the National Heritage Board now, so once in awhile I’ll talk about our exhibitions and museum events, hope that’ll be of interest to you! (:

charged

Hey guys, if you haven’t made plans for the weekend, why not catch a local play? Charged is a local production written by Chong Tze Chien from The Fingerplayers and directed by Zizi Azah from Teater Ekamatra.

Set in an army camp, the play deals with potentially racially sensitive issues and is rated M18. The play is in English, Malay, Hokkien and Tamil with English surtitles.

Sounds deliciously intriguing and were I not helping out for front-of-house, I’d definitely be buying tickets to this! For nore information, check out the Facebook Page.